One Fish, Two Fish, Big Fish, Little Fish_Silver Dawn Read online

  She was slowly turning the café space into a tourist convenience store, or Sari-Sari, selling cold drinks and packaged snacks. Gilberto made cutting remarks about his homemade puto being replaced by Nestlé Crunch® bars and Cheetos®. However, Katie’s transition was pretty successful, and to a significant degree her husband, Orlan, was largely to thank for the financial success.

  Orlan was a gifted and creative welder. He loved to create intricate and ornately Asian designs. More so, he had a working knowledge of most tools and was the local handyman when it came to anything that took finesse or craftsmanship.

  Most of Katie’s close friends liked to say that Orlan was very good with his hands, if for no better reason that to hear Katie reply with, “Yes, it took me three kids to learn that.”

  Their Sari-Sari store on the main road of the village was well-known and seldom passed. Even if a repeat tourist was disappointed that the restaurant they remembered was no longer in business, they most often left with an artistic trinket reminder of their Zambales visit.

  The preoccupied young woman sitting behind the Sari-Sari counter barely looked up from her well-worn magazine when a stranger stopped and asked her, “Is Steven home?”

  “Yes,” was her answer. She thought it was a pretty complete answer, too, except it didn’t seem to satisfy the stranger.

  “Any chance I could see him?”

  Now she did look up, maybe out of curiosity, but certainly this was mixed with irritation. “Well you aren’t going to see him here,” she answered. “I said he was home.”

  A look of understanding blossomed on the stranger’s face, and he smiled as he continued, “I would be very appreciative if you would tell me how to get to Steven-san’s home.”

  “145 Vista Nochas, up the street on the sea side of the road.” The young woman pointed, looked the stranger over briefly, dismissing him as too old and too Japanese, and went back to her magazine.

  #

  Benjiro turned to walk in the direction the clerk pointed and continued to smile. He’d lucked out, as far as he was concerned. Being a sailor, Steven was seldom home, and Benjiro came straight to the country rather than try to trace his friend in Manila, where he knew his wife lived when Steve was at sea. As he walked the road leading to his childhood friend’s house he thought about the last time they’d seen each other nearly, ten years ago.

  Benjiro had been in bad shape at the time. His mother had left his father to return to her hometown in the Philippines. The last time his father had beaten her, Benjiro had returned unexpectedly and walked into the middle of the maelstrom. Benjiro was drunk when he walked through the door, but the years of his own suffering at his father’s hands took over, and when Benjiro woke he was in a prison cell.

  When his father was asked what to do with him, his reply was, “I have no son; I was beaten by nobody,” and the police were forced to let Benjiro go.

  His mother had accumulated so much dirt on his father that she would live out her life with no monetary worries in the Philippines, but Benjiro did not fare as well. He returned to the Philippines with her, but without direction or an income, he sunk farther into the pit of despair in which he’d been raised.

  Steven found out Benjiro was back, and during his next shore leave he convinced him to sober up. After that, Steven helped him get back into tai chi and yoga. It had been Gilberto that actually gave him the idea to teach both on cruise ships. Benjiro considered Steven and his family as his saviors and family of choice.

  As he reached the gate of 145 Vista Nochas, Benjiro saw a boy lying on the tile floor of the porch, reading.

  “Konnor?” he asked, standing on the other side of the gate. The dog that had been lying flat on the other side of the boy exploded up, barking and leaping at the stranger talking to his human.

  “Oscar, settle down,” Konnor said. The dog looked back at him, turned to look at Benjiro again, gave a half-hearted growl, and went back out of the sun to resume his watch from the shade on the tile.

  Konnor sat up and looked at Benjiro. “How do you know my name? I don’t remember meeting you.”

  Benjiro answered, “Nor have I met you, but I know your dad and mom very well. My name is Benji.” He smiled, pointing at Oscar, who was still watching him. “And that would be the guard dog Steven told me about? Maybe I should stay on this side of the gate until your dad comes out.”

  “That would be a good idea, Benji. I hope I didn’t make you wait long?” Steven said laughingly, stepping out the front door of the house. “Konnor, get up and say hi to my friend, Benji-san.”

  Konnor reached over the top of the gate and shook Benji’s hand. “Hello, Benji-san. My dad’s told me about you.” Seeing as Konnor accepted the new guest, Oscar decided to lower his defenses as well and came over, wagging his tail, to smell Benji’s outstretched hand.

  Addressing Konnor, Benji asked, “So, is it okay to enter now?”

  “Yes. Don’t worry about Oscar; he wouldn’t hurt anyone that I approve of.”

  Steven waved off Benjiro’s offered hand and embraced his old friend, patting him on the back. “How are you, Benji? And how is your mom?”

  “I’m very good, Steven, my brother. I’m very good. And Mom’s doing okay.” Benjiro’s eyes were moist when he finally released Steven. “Look at you, family man, pet lover, landed house-owner. These last few years have been kind to you, Steven.”

  “They have, Benji, they have, but don’t repeat the landed house-owner comment in front of Betts. I’m still sailing and most of the time we’re still living with her mother!”

  “Too late, Steven. I heard every word out of this fellow sailor’s mouth,” Bettina said, smiling as she came through the doorway. Her eyes softened when they landed on Benjiro. “Benjiro, how nice to see you again.” And bowing slightly, she took his face in her hands and kissed both his cheeks.

  Dinner and a Story

  Bettina and her mother cleared away the dishes from the evening meal while Konnor stood in the kitchen lusting after the donuts Benjiro provided for their dessert. Benjiro had traveled through Manila and picked up J Co doughnuts at the last possible moment before boarding the bus for Zambales.

  “I see why you like this place, Steven. It’s quiet and relaxing and smells of the fresh sea. I suspect it rather reminds you of sailing, doesn’t it?” Benjiro asked.

  “That and it’s close to Pop and Katie,” Steven replied. “Betts and Konnor are still mostly in Manila with her mother when I’m away. Her mother’s house is close to the hospital, so it’s easy for Betts to get to work, and of course the schools are better for Konnor.”

  This made Konnor turn toward his father and the newly met friend and proclaim, “I’m going to be a sailor, just like you and Dad. I don’t know why I need to go to school anyway.”

  What Steven wanted to do was roll his eyes and ask his son why, when he liked nothing better than to read books, he didn’t want to go to school. He checked himself just long enough for Benjiro to respond instead.

  “Oh, that’s surprising. Most of the kids I meet on the ships I’m on want to be a ship’s captain, giving the orders, not part of the crew, taking all the orders.” Benjiro winked at Konnor, then said, “But I happen to know that those big ships need all the grunt workers they can get, so, eh, who needs school, right?”

  Konnor gave him a blank look and turned to his grandma. “When can we have dessert, Grandma?”

  Steven wished he could still enjoy the avocado cream J Co donut with the enthusiasm of youth, as Konnor so obviously did. In fact, sugar just made him feel tired earlier these days. That was one of the reasons he’d cut his donut in half. The other reason being that he assumed Konnor would beg for the second half anyway. The adults washed the heavenly crème-filled desserts down with a cup of Nestle’s 3in1 coffee. When Konnor finally got around to looking at Steven’s half donut and started his request with, “Daddy…” Steven simply gave an imperceptible nod in the direction of his plate.

  Soon Konnor retur
ned to lying on his tummy on the floor, fighting off a nodding head while trying to finish what Benjiro realized was an action comic book. Betts and her mother turned on the TV. They were watching a telenovela with lots of arguing and kissing, and Benjiro and Steven were alone relaxing in front of the house looking at the stars.

  “Just like old times, huh, Steven?” Benjiro asked.

  “Couldn’t be anything farther from it, Benji; they’re so much better,” came Steven’s answer. “The only thing I regret is that Julia isn’t here with us.” He gazed a little longer at the night sky and asked, “What about you, Benji? How are you?”

  “I really am very good, Steven. No lies. Without your help I don’t think I would have made it, but I did and I’m here now and that’s all that counts.” He added, “I’ve been clean for nine years, seven months, and fourteen days. The need doesn’t go away, but the pride continues to build. That’s what keeps my weaknesses in check. My pride, my acceptance, and my faith in myself.”

  “Good for you, Benji. You don’t know how happy I am to hear you say that in person and see your eyes confirm it. I gotta admit that sometimes I wondered if you were just writing the words on paper in your letters.” Smiling at his old childhood friend, Steven took Benjiro’s hand in his own, held it for a minute, and said, “I’m going to get another cup of coffee. Can I get you one?”

  “Green tea perhaps, my friend?” Benjiro replied.

  Handing Benjiro the tea a few minutes later, Steven pointed into the night sky and asked, “Do you still have any desire to go up there, Benji?”

  “Eh, not so much, Steven.”

  “Why not, Benji? Reality get in the way?”

  “Reality and age, maybe,” Benjiro answered with a chuckle.

  After sipping his coffee a few minutes, Steven asked what he knew would be a difficult question, but one that he felt had to be asked. “What about your father, Benji?”

  Benjiro quietly snorted then gave a little sigh.

  “Any word?” Steven persisted.

  “None,” Benjiro answered.

  “Okay. I felt I had to ask. I’m sorry.”

  “It’s fine. I closed that subject when I finally came out and got sober. Let’s leave it at that now, okay?” Benjiro said.

  “No problem,” Steven answered, and thoughtfully took another swallow of his coffee. He changed the subject. “You still with the cruise line?”

  “Yeah. I like it. You’d be surprised how compact one can make their life when it needs to fit in a roller bag and a carry-on,” Benji said.

  “It’s a confident man that doesn’t need to surround himself with possessions, Benji,” replied Steven. “Being on the sea with lives depending on you to do your job breeds confidence.”

  “Ha, yeah, that or anxiety,” Benjiro answered.

  “Are you anxious?” Steven asked.

  “Sure, sometimes, but not normally. I mean, you remember I’m a yoga and tai chi teacher, right?”

  It was Steven’s turn to chuckle. He did remember. “Everyone has their role to play on a ship, Benji, and every role is important. Didn’t you say something about being the resident astronomer, as well?”

  “Yes, but I’m teaching passengers, not navigating the ship.”

  “Whatever. Have you ever been on a ship with an outbreak of the runs?” Steven asked.

  “Nine years sailing? The answer is yes, definitely,” Benjiro answered.

  “Okay, then you know how important the kid who washes the dishes is, or the one in charge of stock rotation in the kitchen. Everyone has their role and all roles are important.” Steven gave Benjiro a two-handed thumbs-up. “I’m glad you came to visit, Benji,” Steven said.

  “I wanted to tell you I’m seeing someone,” Benjiro replied.

  “What?”

  “I didn’t just happen to stop in out of the blue. I mean, I did just drop in, I know, but I planned to come because I wanted to tell you I’ve been seeing someone,” Benjiro repeated.

  “Oh,” Steven said.

  Benjiro’s sexual predilections were something Steven and Benjiro had not discussed since their initial meeting, when Benjiro had offered, more than once, to let Steven suck his cock. Steven had no problem with people that preferred the same sex in their relationships. In fact, Katie’s brother-in-law (Orlan’s younger brother) was gay and Gilberto had been the first one in the family to welcome him, making sure his kids and grandkids knew that love knew no bounds. Gilberto had made it clear that he would accept anyone in his house and would have no one making up rules simply for some folks with superiority complexes to feel better about themselves.

  “You know I think that’s fine, Benji,” Steven added after a moment. “Well, more than fine. That’s great. I guess I always figured you had someone, but you just weren’t gonna talk about it.”

  “Yeah, well I’ve had a few someones, but this one is different,” Benjiro said.

  “You want to tell me about him?” Steven asked.

  “Really? You really want to know, Steven?” Benjiro answered.

  “Sure, Benji. I’m your friend. You can tell me whatever. Well, truth is you have told me whatever in the past. And this is good, right? I mean, you like this guy, right? Maybe you even love him?” Steven asked.

  “Yes I do. But I’m not sure you’re gonna like him.”

  “I don’t have to like him, Benji. You do. And if you really like him and he treats you…the way you want to be treated…then I will like him.” One thing Steven knew about aging: if your head wasn’t stuck in the sand up to your armpits, you met all sorts as you went through life. And life took all sorts; required it, as a matter of fact, he thought.

  “He’s rich,” Benji stated.

  “Good for you, but above a certain level, more money doesn’t necessarily mean more fun,” Steven answered.

  “He’s Japanese,” Benji continued.

  “Okay, well you’re half-Japanese. What’s not to like there…if we ignore your issues with your dad.” Steve smiled, trying to bring a little humor into Benjiro’s clearly uncomfortable conversation.

  Benjiro played his final card. “He’s twenty-five years older than I am.”

  “Nice. Is he retired so that he can travel with you all the time?” Steven asked.

  “I guess you could say he’s retired, but he isn’t really one of those people that wanders around the parks feeding the koi and the pigeons,” said Benjiro. “He’s been on a number of cruises with me, ones where I work and ones where I don’t. And I’ve been to one of his homes in Northern Japan. He’s very wealthy and wants me to quit, but I’m not sure I can.”

  “Why not? You deserve a relationship, and you deserve time together. You’ve worked hard to pull your life together. Maybe this is the universe rewarding you. What’s holding you back, Benji?” Steven asked.

  “Well, I don’t know a lot about him, for one thing. We’ve spent some significant time together, but he’s anything but transparent. He’s also started to talk about some health issues. I’m not sure I want to go directly from lover to caregiver. He’s hinted about his health and about some significant changes coming soon. I’m not totally sure what they are, but from what he will tell me he has a number of significant issues with his organs,” Benjiro answered.

  “Do you think he has cancer? He doesn’t have some horrible disease that puts you in danger, does he?” Steven asked, somewhat alarmed.

  “I’m not sure if he has cancer or not. That’s possible. I am sure he’s not putting me in any danger. For a guy in his seventies, he’s pretty well-versed in public health issues.” After taking a sip of his tea and staring at the stars for a minute, Benjiro continued, “I know for sure he was involved in a war. World War II, that is. And his involvement wasn’t behind the scenes either. He saw significant action someplace and he has the scars to prove it. Scars I can physically see and scars I can only sense through things he says and how he says them. I don’t know if he was ever in the Philippines, but we were involved in a lot of
places then…‘we’ meaning the Japanese side of my heritage, sorry.”

  “That’s too bad, Benji. It sounds like you’ve found love, but he might be slipping away from you already,” Steven said. He was concerned about his childhood friend. Steven had helped Benjiro almost literally push boulders uphill on the way to getting sober, and then helped him land a job that focused on Benjiro’s energy and depended on him focusing on health consciousness. A big life loss could potentially strike a blow in the sobriety armor Benjiro had fashioned for himself over the last nearly ten years.

  “I’ve considered that possibility, Steven. I’ve always accepted the risks, along with the rewards, of being in relationship with someone so much older than me. There’s something else at play here though, and I haven’t quite figured it out,” Benjiro said.

  “What does your gut tell you, Benji?” Steven asked.

  “A few weeks ago he asked me to accompany him to India,” Benji said, avoiding a real answer. “That in itself isn’t odd because we’ve traveled quite a bit. He was going to a place in Maharashtra, near Mumbai, and then we are to meet at a resort in Gao. The resort is really high-end and very much what I would expect, but healthcare provided from India? I can’t imagine a healthcare front on which they would be leaders.”

  “Yeah, maybe. I guess that’s one thing I have absolutely no idea about, Benji. Maybe Betts would know something, but that might be unlikely, too,” Steven replied, draining that last of his second coffee. “If I want to get any sleep tonight, I better not have any more coffee.” Glancing back into the house, he commented, “It looks like the rest of the household has shut down for the night, Benji. I’ll head to bed myself. Betts said she’d put things out on the couch in the front room. I hope you’ll stay the night.”

  “I will indeed, Steven. I will not risk Katie’s wrath by stopping by and then leaving before seeing her, and Gilberto, for that matter,” Benjiro replied, getting up to turn in.